Women!

Some of you may have noticed that I haven’t written anything of substance in a long time. I’ve been pretty busy trying to settle in yet haven’t really achieved that. I finish work every evening around 5.30, go drink tea in a tea stall, wander around the market without buying anything (not because I know I’m being ripped off but because I might bump into some of our staff who’ll know even by looking at me that the poor ole foreigner has been made a fool of, AGAIN). Otherwise I cook, eat, wait for the electricity to go and then one hour later come back, sweat, shower and then sleep….so as you can see, I’ve hardly been rushed off my feet.

So what has been holding me back? Well, basically it’s Bangladesh: there are so many things happening - so many contrasts, so much poverty, discrimination, so many practical problems so many small problems, so many major political developments, so many conflicting values and views in society – that ultimately everything you know or believe in is challenged. And when this happens, you find that forming coherent and above all else balanced views, is pretty damn difficult. In short living in Bangladesh leaves you permanently confused (no change there I hear you say).

I’ve wanted to write about gender discrimination here for a long time but have been struggling with the idea that an honest assessment would either fall under the ‘patronising, righteous, domineering white man’ category or would see me question the so-called universal values I came here with.

I came here believing that though we have completely different backgrounds, religions and experiences, none of this can change the fact that ultimately we are all human beings who need to eat, drink, sleep, work, be understood and cared for. The idea was that above all else, we are all equal. But living in Bangladesh does force you to think again…

Let me give you an example.

Women here are frankly treated like shit. They majority do not participate in life outside of the home. They do worse than men in almost all key statistics such as education and health care access or income generation. They have little hope of justice before male dominated and class defined courts. They suffer violence inside the home, have ACID thrown on them or are simply tortured to death for turning down a marriage proposal and are often trafficked to an even more horrible existence because they bring shame on the family by being teased for being young, pretty and unmarried. Their dress code means they must always cover all natural bumps on their bodies even in 40degree heat while being treated by a professional medical doctor. Not only do women eat last in any family gathering but they consequently eat least also. The list goes on and on and on…

So I’ve been confused and struggle to see how the hell we can claim that Human Rights are universal when so many women suffer daily in just one small Asian country? You are left to conclude that either you were wrong and women are lesser beings than men and therefore have no right to be treated with the same respect as men …..

or….

you conclude that the culture in this country is rotten to the core, that men are so driven by power that they will use anything including their faith to strengthen and monopolize that power; that the religious leaders have at worst used their faith to intentionally humiliate women or at best allowed their faith to be manipulated to do the same.

You either completely forget everything you were ever taught or you tell others that everything they believe in is not only untrue but archaic and unacceptable…..I don’t like either conclusion which is why I didn’t’ feel I could write about the issue.

But thankfully, it seems Bangladeshi’s are quickly coming to learn that their culture and country can no longer continue as it has been doing and therefore I can conclude that yes, it is the latter but only because it is a minority who really believe in that ‘culture’. The two leading parties are led by women, the parliament has reserved 30% seats for women; predominantly female garment workers are leading the countries biggest export industry and therefore leading independent if challenging lives. Microcredit, despite its flaws, is empowering other women to leave the grasp of their husbands; thousands of organizations all over the country are confronting damaging traditions on a regular basis; even Agrogoti Sangtha (where I work) are trying to ensure women’s participation in local politics and provide adolescent with girls the knowledge, tools and skills to protect themselves. So Bengali’s are challenging the romanticism which surrounds culture, traditions and religions and they should be mightily proud of themselves.

But, unfortunately the biggest challenge lays ahead…Soon the ruling party’s War Crimes Tribunal will start trying those responsible for war crimes during the Liberation War against Pakistan in the 70’s. Among the accused will in all likelihood be members of the Islamic fundamentalist party which alone will be dangerous. But more dangerous are the predominantly Muslim Party the BNP (claiming to be more moderate) and if they decide to play politics with this, to attack the current government’s efforts in the name of Islam….then the fireworks will start…and who will be the first to suffer…of course… women.

As I say a pretty confusing place.